User Profile

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."


I am married, since February 1st 2003, to a wonderful girl named Candice and I have a very hyper-active little boy named Josiah who starts school this September.. Also, my wife is pregnant with a little tiny fetus. We, hopefully, find out what it is on August 21st. Yay!
Sugar and Spice and everything nice...

Total edit fail. S'uh girl, duh. Avonlea! She likes kitties. MEOW!

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